The thunder before the lightning, the breathe before the kiss

Almost started crying in school today. Freaking volleyball. When walking home though I found these little beautiful flowers. I love spring, better times are always ahead. I feel like my life is starting to get under control again. I feel comfortable with were I am now, both physically and mentally. I know what I want.

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?

I could have been a princess, you'd be a king

Me, Annie (probably 16 years old?) and Happy on the floor.

The sun before the burn, the walk before the run

På något sätt känner jag mig lugn. Jag är så jäkla bra, jag är bäst helt enkelt. Det finns ingen som är som jag, inte någonstans. Jag är snäll, snygg, smart, studerande, stenrik (ja, på just sten) och satans awesome. Det är okej att boosta sig själv lite då och då. De som inte känner mig har missat något. Fan vad bra jag är, helt underbar.

Hur kommer det sig att det är så svårt att se sig själv, det som man är bra på? Häromveckan skulle jag berätta inför en grupp, två saker som jag är bra på. Inte typ "jag är bra på att spela en låt på piano" etc, utan mera djupa saker. Det var hur somhelst jättejobbigt för mig. Varför ska det vara så svårt att gräva lite i sig själv, är man rädd för vad man kan hitta? Fast nej, så borde det ju inte vara, eftersom man känner sig själv bättre än någon annan. Eller?

Hrm, skulle det kunna vara rädslan för att verka för självgod? Hur mycket "vågar" vi prisa oss själva när andra hör på. Det varierar självklart från person till person, en blyg och en utåtriktad (jag påstår nödvändigtvis inte att dessa är motsatser). Den ena kan se uppgiften som nästintill omöjlig, att våga visa upp sig och sina starka sidor i rädslan för att ta plats. Medans detta för den självsäkra är vardagsmat. Intressant hur vi kan vara så olika. Undra vart jag står någonstans.

Det är nästan så att en reflektionstur på moppen skulle behövas.

Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

Last night (yes, Sunday) Amanda and Andrea's CD (hehe) party took place. It was so much fun and the music was amazing. I was so tired though and the new time change didn't really contribute in a helpful way. A very wise decision was made this morning laying in bed, "I am not going to school" and that's what happened. I am trying to think it was for the common good, I obviously did the class a favour when not showing up. Honestly I got scared when I looked myself in the mirror this morning, not a pretty sight. My lips are still a little bit purple too. The theme was "come as a song" and I was Back in Black with The Hives. Gr8.

Me, Jenny, Emma and Nelly

Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air?

Saturday. Me and Erik met up with my sister (Annie) and her son Ossian in Slussen. We took the car to Ingarö to spend the afternoon out there in the beautiful spring weather. It was one of the best spent days in a really long time. We ate waffles and laxsoppa (salmon soup, doesn't sound as good in english I realize). Erik and I played with Ossain and then went for the first scooter ride of the year! The wind in your hair, the feel of the ocean breeze with the sun on your face. It is impossible to not be happy.

However I was thinking that I would go home and spend the night at home but I changed my mind and stayed. A good decision, it feels good to just stay there and relax. Sunday afternoon (also the waffleday!) I had a spa day in the sauna and then ate kladdkaka in the sun.

I trust my feeling is true, come be royal blue

Yesterday was spent part time in school working on our English project again. But before school me and Jenny worked out at 7 a.m in the freaking morning. We both came to the conclusion that we are out of our minds. Anyway, it always feels good afterwards so it was worth not sleeping in.

On my way home from school I bought naturgodis and then relaxed at home for a couple of hours, I am also trying to learn a new piano song. It was a really long time ago since I last played..

In the evening I met up with Teo and we were supposed to be a little spontaneous but deep inside I think we both knew that we would go fika. But however this time we came up with the smart idea of going to clarion hotel and see wheter we could order something in their upstairs bar (with a very nice view). Haha, and guess what, we just walked straight into their bar/club without having to show id. Probably the most expensive beer I will ever order again, but it was totally worth it.  

 The weather was really nice, hope that shows. The other picture shows the school bag that I sometimes use. :))